Tuesday, December 7, 2010

That's What We Are...

courtesy of photobucket.com
We drove separately to church. 

I had to run by work before the 8:30 a.m. service, and when I finally arrived, Lisa and the two boys waited for me in our usual position on the left side of the sanctuary.  I noticed the festive holiday decorations surrounding us and also thought it odd that both boys had stayed for the sermon. Recently Luke had wanted to hear the preacher, but the younger Thomas still preferred his normal class. 


This morning was different.


I stood next to my wife as our praise team sang and Luke immediately crawled across his mother to assume his place by my side.  Thomas didn't move, but I coaxed him over with a discreet hand wave so that attention to both could be dispensed fairly and evenly. 


Finally we sat down as the pastor began to preach.  At the conclusion of his sermon, the men stepped forward to serve communion.  Both boys fought their heavy eyelids as they leaned in against my shoulders.  I stared blankly ahead at the white lights shining about the tall Christmas tree on stage.


Then Luke opened his mouth, as he often does, to ask a question.


"Be quiet," I said abruptly and noticed the hurt in his eyes as he recoiled. Immediately I reached for his leg with my left hand.  I grasped it just above his knee hoping to squeeze it lightly enough to declare my true affection potentially obscured by the harsh rebuke.


Suddenly, I thought of Abraham from long ago and Isaac's fear as he lay beneath the drawn dagger of his aging father.  I thought of a wayward prodigal wondering if his father would take him back. I thought of the man they called Jesus groaning out his last breaths impaled to a Roman cross while crying out in pain for the Father who knew him best. 

I thought about the desperation my sons would encounter if forsaken by their own father-the man that should love them most.

And so, there I sat with these two, living metaphors pressed against me on both sides...

I thought of their births and how far we had come together. 


Wanting to believe in this Heavenly Father


Wondering how it could all be true...

Wanting to believe He loved me the way I loved them.

Mostly, trying to understand how-

He could really even love me at all...



I John 3:1
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

24 comments:

S. Etole said...

And He plants His hand firmly upon you in assurance of His love ...

A Simple Country Girl said...

Your children are blessed by the love of 2 parents and 1 Heavenly Father... time and again I marvel that I made it to adulthood and found my Heavenly Father whilst my son was kicking around in my womb. What a gift!

Blessings.

M.L. Gallagher said...

Lovely.

I think for God it is never a question to love us. It's our questionning that causes the friction to arise.

Hugs

Nice to read you here!

Louise

caryjo said...

A soft heart quickly replaces the knee-jerk "eye" response most of us have done/received ... or, as g-ma, I may still do. That blessed "heart" will fill Luke's quickly and overwhelmingly.

[I'm tired at the moment and can't guarantee this makes sense the way I mean it. Just trust me, Friend.]

S. Etole said...

A Hershey's factory?! With the aroma of chocolate and nuts?! You are twice blessed, indeed. :-) The other "aromas" you spoke of ... I have those here in the summer as well. This is a farming area with many cattle.

caryjo said...

I agree with Susie, HOWEVER, I'd be in SO much trouble if I was around that choc/nut odor on a daily basis. Just walking past a choc shop at the mall is a killer sometimes. I'm a choc/mint ice cream lover and there aren't many flavors I can't go for ... the only one is anything connected to coffee flavor. It's almost better than living in acres and acres of fragrant flowers. Almost!

Jeff Jordan said...

Joanne,
I'm with you on the coffee deal. As I've said before, I would rather drink skunk spray than coffee:)

And Susan, the factory is surrounded by farmland so sometimes we can get some weird combinations wafting through the air:)

caryjo said...

The only time in my whole life I've liked coffee scent was in Uganda... and it wasn't the coffee beans, it was the coffee blossoms. They are the most wonderfully fragrant flowers I've ever known. IF somehow they were able to invade the beans, maybe I would have gone that direction. [But probably not. I'm a life-long coffee hater.]

Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

I look at that photo of you with both of your boys, and I can't help but think of my own dad: firm, but loving; attentive and wise...

May you know of the Father's great love for you, and in that assurance, may your love continue to overflow onto your children.

Merry Christmas, Jeff. You are a blessing here ... as well as across the High Calling network.

-- Jennifer Dukes Lee
Contributing Editor @ The High Calling

Jeff Jordan said...

Jennifer,
Thank you so much for your kind words. God has blessed me so much...especially with great blogger friends:) Hope you and your family have a very, merry Christmas too!

S. Etole said...

I so appreciate your Christmas comment, Jeff. You've been on my heart today ... secretly hoping to enjoy some of your fine writing again soon. I hope your day is blessed in many ways. Christmas blessings to you and your family.

deodate said...

Beautiful thoughts Jeff. You can love your sons because you are loved first by your Father. He has taught you love and you have responded beautifully. Your family is blessed.
Andie

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